If you were going to be parading up and down the streets in a tiny bit of a “costume”, which is really just a bikini with some beads and feathers, wouldn’t that be enough motivation to get your a$$ into shape? Here is how the preparation for our carnival (generally) goes down:

3 months before carnival – your mas troupe (the group you sign up with to wear their costume) has what is known as band launching where their costumes for the year’s carnival are unveiled. It is during this time that the non-gym goers (NGGs) and non-healthy eaters begin to freak out and realize that their gut is going to be on display for the island and Facebook to see. The usual gym goers (UGGs) (AKA me) also freak out because even though they’re been going to the gym, Earl (my mini-gut) is still present and they think “f*#k, I can’t have a gut..I’ve been in the gym!”

2 months before carnival The NGGs sign  up for 2 months at the gym or go walking in the afternoons in an attempt to get their body right. They stop eating bread and cheese/bread and fried egg/bread and egg with sausage for breakfast and will instead eat half bread and cheese/half bread and fried egg/half bread and egg with sausage for breakfast or maybe cereal or absolutely nothing. No longer will the NGGs eat rice and peas with stewed pork or stewed chicken for lunch, nor will they consume their usual KFC or chicken Alfredo for dinner.

The UGGs, since they’re already obsessed with their bodies, they already have healthy eating habits, but they will still modify their diets. Breakfast will be oatmeal or scrambled egg whites with a small pita bread. Morning snack is a banana or pear or a protein shake. Lunch is baked chicken or fish with steamed or baked veggies (no salt, no butter). Afternoon snack will be hummus and veggies or just veggies. Dinner will be a protein shake. I can’t get anymore boring.

1 month before carnival This is crunch time (literally and figuratively) for the UGGs. They wake up earlier in the mornings to get longer cardio sessions. They also increase their weights slightly to try and get the extra muscle tone. The NGGs keep chugging along, but only doing cardio and crunches.

Oh no!!…enter the all-inclusive parties. These all-inclusive parties have all food and drinks you’ll need….detrimental to the cause of both the UGGs and NGGs…all that rum/vodka/cognac/whiskey/wine/champagne/beer does the body NO good….we fill our bodies with these empty calories BUT we are dancing the night away, so perhaps we’re burning off what we’re putting in? #wishfulthinking.

2 weeks before carnival Carnival fever sets in. You lose all hope for doing anything productive. You’re listening to the new carnival music at work, dancing in your chair then you go out drinking after work and fete-ing at night. The NGGs have already stopped working out as their motto of the moment is “if I ain’t lose the gut yet, it ain’t gonna again”. The UGGs are trying to keep it together, but its sooooooo hard. They’re still working out but not 5-6 days a week, they’ve dropped down to 3 days.

1 week before carnival Both the UGGs and NGGs have lost the plot; doing anything healthy is an epic fail. Both groups are busy buying food and alcohol for their foreign friends that are arriving on island to partake in the festivities. The house must be impeccably clean and costumes must be picked up, sorted, possibly modified.

Carnival Even though there is massive alcohol and not-so-healthy food consumption, the NGGs and UGGs are out busy dancing in the streets for HOURS on end (read as jumping, jamming, foot in the air, bottom outta road)…but then re-fuel with the gut-inducing food and drinks…aaaah well. Once a couple shots of the favourite draanks are consumed, both the UGGs and NGGs forget about the guts they never really got rid of and continue along their merry way….until the Facebook pictures resurface….and their heads hang in shame.

---------

365antigua.com is always pleased to republish Candid FitNut, a vigorous writer / photographer who eats healthy, exercises and enjoys sharing her experience of a healthier lifestyle. More of her postings can be enjoyed on her blogsite: Candid FitNut - The War on Wobbly-Bits.